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| Author | Comment | ||
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 AtW |
Competition for the best joke of the day |
Lead | |
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Posts: 14648 (07/05/05 07:47:09) Worlds best poster! |
I start:
A wanna be .NET programmer falls into the river Thames and starts shouting: F1, F1, F1!!!!!!!! You can laugh here 
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sunnysan |
Re: Competition for the best joke of the day | ||
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Posts: 1067 (07/05/05 07:49:47) Veteran **** |
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AtW |
smilies | ||
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Posts: 14648 (07/05/05 07:53:00) Worlds best poster! |
sunny, you will have to do a lot better than that to have a chance of winning!!!
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FrancoLondinium |
Re: Competition for the best joke of the day | ||
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Posts: 1256 (07/05/05 08:03:50) Veteran **** |
A wanna be .net programmer wants to swim. He sees a frog and copies the style. He now wants to show to the world that he can swim much better than the frog and much faster, and that the frog still doesn't swim in run-time and that he can swim in any pond/lake and that the ponds should replace all the frogs with clones of him since he is definetely the new way to go and frogs are obsolete.
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DimPrawn |
Re: Competition for the best joke of the day | ||
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Posts: 3793 (07/05/05 08:24:21) |
How many .NET programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
[Exception: Execute failed. arithmetic exception, numeric overflow] SnippetEdit.TSnippetEditControl.btnSave_Click(Object sender, EventArgs e) System.Web.UI.WebControls.Button.OnClick(EventArgs e) +108 System.Web.UI.WebControls.Button.System.Web.UI.IPostBackEventHandler.RaisePostBackEvent(String eventArgument) +57 System.Web.UI.Page.RaisePostBackEvent(IPostBackEventHandler sourceControl, String eventArgument) +18 System.Web.UI.Page.RaisePostBackEvent(NameValueCollection postData) +33 System.Web.UI.Page.ProcessRequestMain() +1247 |
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planetit |
Re: Competition for the best joke of the day | ||
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Posts: 1893 (07/05/05 08:27:26) Veteran ***** |
Two monkeys having a bath.
First one says Oo,oo, ah, ah (a monkey sounding noise its bit of an audio joke really) Second one says put some cold water in |
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planetit |
Re: Competition for the best joke of the day | ||
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Posts: 1893 (07/05/05 08:30:27) Veteran ***** |
Two beekeepers comparing notes.
First beekeeper: How many bees have you got? Second beekeeper: Ten thousand FBK: blimey thats a lot of bees. How many hives? SBK: twenty FBK: Very impressive SBK: How many bees have you got? FBK: Four million SBK: How many hives FBK: just one SBK: Four million bees in one hive! Thats amazing FBK: Yeah. F u c kem, theyre only bees |
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DimPrawn |
Re: Competition for the best joke of the day | ||
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Posts: 3793 (07/05/05 08:30:47) |
What do you call a Pakistani lesbian?
Minge Eater. I'll get me coat..... 
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FrancoLondinium |
Re: Competition for the best joke of the day | ||
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Posts: 1256 (07/05/05 08:32:15) Veteran **** |
How many Milan do you need to take a taxi ride?
At least six of them or it isn't worth it. |
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DimPrawn |
Re: Competition for the best joke of the day | ||
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Posts: 3793 (07/05/05 08:34:08) |
Irishman goes into his daughters bedroom and finds a packet of condoms.
"Be Jesus!" he exclaims. "I didn't even know she had a c0ck" |
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Unregistered(d) |
Re: Competition for the best joke of the day | ||
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Posts: 0 (07/05/05 08:39:12) |
fast forward to the year 2040... who's the old guy begging in the street ? Franco. Milan. |
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TonyEnglish |
Re: Competition for the best joke of the day | ||
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Posts: 1918 (07/05/05 08:40:19) Veteran ***** |
What do you call a Pakistani Kareoke singer?
Gerupta Singh What do you call a Pakistani carpenter? Ahmed Ashed I will get my coat also! |
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DimPrawn |
Re: Competition for the best joke of the day | ||
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Posts: 3793 (07/05/05 08:46:27) |
Mate asked me if I would run a marathon. I said "no chance".
He said "It's for spastics and blind kids". I thought "F*ck it, I could win that" |
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Lucifer Box |
Re: Competition for the best joke of the day | ||
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Posts: 1435 (07/05/05 09:08:54) Veteran **** |
Chico.
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AtW |
live | ||
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Posts: 14648 (07/05/05 09:09:11) Worlds best poster! |
Come on people, bring in some live into the competition
My 2nd try: one married programmer is working on his home comp well late, and his wife got really horny. So she got undressed and quietly sneaked in behind him and touched his shoulder to attract his attention. Programmer turns around and says: no, you can't have computer, I haven't finished compiling new Linux kernel yet and then I will play Strip Poker online. |
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DimPrawn |
Re: live | ||
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Posts: 3793 (07/05/05 09:10:43) |
Do you have any life outside of computers?
Silly question.... 
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Unregistered(d) |
Re: Competition for the best joke of the day | ||
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Posts: 0 (07/05/05 09:14:29) |
Alexey, with that post, I think you just became the joke ! Now get out and meet people. Milan. |
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Paco |
Re: Competition for the best joke of the day | ||
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Posts: 140 (07/05/05 09:27:54) |
DP, you read the Football365 forum and I claim my 5 pounds.
There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't. |
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AtW |
kinds | ||
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Posts: 14648 (07/05/05 09:36:40) Worlds best poster! |
> There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't.
10 + 10 = 100
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DimPrawn |
Re: kinds | ||
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Posts: 3793 (07/05/05 09:54:01) |
This code generates a really funny joke:
@a=(Lbzjoftt,Inqbujfodf,Hvcsjt); $b="Lbssz Wbmm";$b =~ y/b-z/a-z/ ; $c =" Tif ". @a ." hsfbu wj"."suvft pg b qsphsbnnfs". ":\\n";$c =~y/b-y/a-z/;print"\\n\\n$c ";for($i=0;$i<@a; $i++) { $a[$i] =~y/b-y/a-z/;if($a[$i]eq$a[-1]){print"and $a[$i].";}else{ print"$a[$i], ";}}print"\\n\\n\\t\\t--$b\\n\\n";@#%$ hilarious.......... |
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DimPrawn |
Re: kinds | ||
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Posts: 3793 (07/05/05 09:55:51) |
Actually, this code is even funnier:
#define/**/X char*d="X0[!4cM,!" "4cK`*!4cJc(!4cHg&!4c$j" "8f'!&~]9e)!'|:d+!)rAc-!*m*" ":d/!4c(b4e0!1r2e2!/t0e4!-y-c6!" "+|,c6!)f$b(h*c6!(d'b(i)d5!(b*a'`&c" ")c5!'b+`&b'c)c4!&b-_$c'd*c3!&a.h'd+" "d1!%a/g'e+e0!%b-g(d.d/!&c*h'd1d-!(d%g)" "d4d+!*l,d7d)!,h-d;c'!.b0c>d%!A`Dc$![7)35E" "!'1cA,,!2kE`*!-s@d(!(k(f//g&!)f.e5'f(!+a+)" "f%2g*!?f5f,!=f-*e/!<d6e1!9e0'f3!6f)-g5!4d*b" "+e6!0f%k)d7!+~^'c7!)z/d-+!'n%a0(d5!%c1a+/d4" "!2)c9e2!9b;e1!8b>e/! 7cAd-!5fAe+!7fBe(!" "8hBd&!:iAd$![7S,Q0!1 bF 7!1b?'_6!1c,8b4" "!2b*a,*d3!2n4f2!${4 f. '!%y4e5!&f%" "d-^-d7!4c+b)d9!4c-a 'd :!/i('`&d" ";!+l'a+d<!)l*b(d=!' m- a &d>!&d'" "`0_&c?!$dAc@!$cBc@!$ b < ^&d$`" ":!$d9_&l++^$!%f3a' n1 _ $ !&" "f/c(o/_%!(f+c)q*c %! * f &d+" "f$s&!-n,d)n(!0i- c- k) ! 3d" "/b0h*!H`7a,![7* i] 5 4 71" "[=ohr&o*t*q*`*d *v *r ; 02" "7*~=h./}tcrsth &t : r 9b" "].,b-725-.t--// #r [ < t8-" "752793? <.~;b ].t--+r / # 53" "7-r[/9~X .v90 <6/<.v;-52/={ k goh" "./}q; u vto hr `.i*$engt$ $ ,b" ";$/ =t ;v; 6 =`it.`;7=` : ,b-" "725 = / o`. .d ;b]`--[/+ 55/ }o" "`.d : - ?5 / }o`.' v/i]q - " "-[; 5 2 =` it . o;53- . " "v96 <7 / =o : d =o" "--/i ]q-- [; h. / = " "i]q--[ ;v 9h ./ < - " "52={cj u c&` i t . o ; " "?4=o:d= o-- / i ]q - " "-[;54={ cj uc& i]q - -" "[;76=i]q[;6 =vsr u.i / ={" "=),BihY_gha ,)\0 " , o [ 3217];int i, r,w,f , b ,x , p;n(){return r <X X X X X 768?d[X(143+ X r++ + *d ) % 768]:r>2659 ? 59: ( x = d [(r++-768)% X 947 + 768] ) ? x^(p?6:0):(p = 34 X X X ) ;}s(){for(x= n (); ( x^ ( p ?6:0))==32;x= n () ) ;return x ; } void/**/main X () { r = p =0;w=sprintf (X X X X X X o ,"char*d="); for ( f=1;f < * d +143;)if(33-( b=d [ f++ X ] ) ){if(b<93){if X(! p ) o [w++]=34;for X(i = 35 + (p?0:1);i<b; i++ ) o [w++]=s();o[ w++ ] =p?s():34;} else X {for(i=92; i<b; i ++)o[w++]= 32;} } else o [w++ ] =10;o [ w]=0 ; puts(o);}
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